Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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