nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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