She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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