Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
