Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
