I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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