Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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