Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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