grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
