Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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