I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
