I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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