I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
