She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
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This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
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On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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