We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
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having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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