There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
