Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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