go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
