Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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