I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
