So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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