What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
how drunk are you?
Several
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
