Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
