mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Your cock deserves a montage
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
