So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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