Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize