Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you had me at cake vodka
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
