Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
