I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
