he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
