oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.