We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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