She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
