operation harelip BJ is a go
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
