Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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