normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
