he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
