She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
