is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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