I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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