therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
