The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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