Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
