she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
