Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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