This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
