Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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