Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
