i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
