hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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