college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
