Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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