So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you didnt know i had herpes?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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