does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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