enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
